Chris & Amelia
Long Island, New York
How did you two meet?
Through Twitter. We tweeted the same band (The Dirty Pearls) on the same day in 2014!! Amelia replied to me but it took me 5 months to eventually DM her afterwards 🤷🏻♂️
Who made the first move?
Technically she did in replying to my tweet.
But definitely me as I DM’d her first.
Tell us about your first date.
Well the first time we met in person was in May of 2015 when Amelia had come to England to stay with friends and I happened to be in London on the Friday she landed. I offered to show her around London that weekend. The Friday night we had dinner in Leicester Square and the Saturday we just walked all day, through Hyde Park, past Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square and Big Ben. We then had dinner at The O2 before an Anthony Joshua boxing match. On Sunday we walked around Wembley as it was FA Cup Final day and my team, Arsenal were playing, I wanted her to experience her first real football (soccer ) atmosphere.
What I would class as our first proper ‘date’ was walking through Central Park in the snow and that was when asked her to be my girlfriend.
How long have you been together?
We started dating in January 2017.
What has been one major challenge in your relationship?
Trusting one another when you live 4000 miles apart.
How do you settle disagreements?
When we lived apart we would argue via text until I stopped responding and just picked up the phone to let her vent at me verbally. Then we would talk it through, apologise to one another regardless of whose fault the argument was (normally mine ) and then talk about how it would be so much easier if we were in the same place and that we love and missed each other.
Now it’s still similar, we just live together so I can always hold her if and when she does get mad at me and tell her everything is going to be ok, apologise in person and kiss her. Being able to hold her and kiss her in those moments is massive and one of the hardest things about being in a LDR, because you have to wait months to see each other and make sure the other is actually ok.
If you are from two different cultures, how do you deal with the cultural differences?
She basically makes fun of my accent and some words/phrases I use which are not common in America. I retaliate by saying she doesn’t spell certain words properly.
Any memorable trips together?
London, several times. Three months in New York. Canada. Dublin. Glasgow.
Gibraltar to get married and Paris for our Honeymoon.
When and how do you plan to close the distance?
We got married in October 2017. My visa was approved in November 2018 and I moved to New York in the December.
Our distance has now been closed for 10 months and it still doesn’t feel real that one of us doesn’t have to leave.
Any words of advice for other LDR Couples?
Never go to sleep on an argument, always end your night telling the other that you love them.
Don’t give up. The phone calls, late nights, flights, whatever it is that you have to go through to share time together is all worth it once you finally close the distance. It made us strong enough as a couple to know we can withstand anything that is now thrown at us.
Always have a plan for the next time you will see each other so that you’ve always got something to look forward too.
Always make time to try and do “normal” things together. Like eating a meal at the same time, even if that means one of you eats earlier and the other later than usual. Or watching tv shows or films together.
Find other people in your situation to talk too. All relationships have their ups and downs so anyone else can help with most things, but unless you have been in a LDR you really don’t understand all the little things that you cannot do for months or even years at a time.
Remember that LDR’s work in pretty much the opposite way to normal relationships. We never dated in the way we would have if we lived in the same place. We only saw each other once every 3-6 months and had to make big decisions early on, when we knew this could be something really special, and we both took a massive gamble on love by getting married incredibly early in our relationship so that we could live together and have what society would deem a “normal” relationship. We have been best friends and talked every day for almost 4 years and married for over 2, but we have only lived in the same place for 10 months. That is difficult for most people to comprehend, but to us, that was our normal and it made us what we are today.